Masculinity is often built around competency. Men want to feel capable and that their arrow hits the mark in everything that they do. Men want to cross items off their to-do lists, complete the project and eliminate the threat. We are built to protect, so when there is a problem we focus on eliminating it so that there is a sense of safety and wellbeing around us.
Men will tend to take this fix-it mentality into their relationships with their spouses. While this approach can be helpful when it comes to practical items that need repair, it can backfire in partnerships. When it comes to relationships, the fix-it approach is not always effective. Our partner's struggles don't need to be eliminated, they need to be heard and held and soothed. Providing reassurance and support ends up being a more effective expression of modern masculinity than trying to solve problems.